I didn't plan on posting today, even though, there has been a thought sweating it out in my noggin for awhile now.
But, with the chaotic lunch, shattered glass bowl incident, and the baby tantrum full morning we endured here, a minute or two of typing will be a good breather.
Much better than folding the 5 piles of laundry that are gossiping behind my back right now.
For the past month I have fought the knowledge that has made a home for itself here. Pushing it back under the bed and into the closet has done nothing. It's not going anywhere. The fact is, on Aug. 19th Trent will officially be 18 months old.
Nursery age.
For each of our kids births nothing changed in our ward callings. Nothing needed to, I had a facade to keep up. Nothing could slow me down! Might have been the banner I was trying to fly.
With Trent's birth, I threw my banner away. Trent was to be my calling, and I was determined that nothing was going to interfere.
No teaching, no library, no committees, nothing. Releasing me from every church calling was the only option I would negotiate. Selfish, hiding my candle, not a team player. Yep! That's me!
This baby wasn't going to get part of me, or bits of me, or be passed around. He would get that enough being the 4th child at home. Sundays were to be ours. The 3 hour block being the most undivided attention that I had to give.
Although I have relented and accepted a few callings, only ones that did not interfere with our Sunday dates were taken.
Our 18 months of Sunday dates is nearly over. We have one date left, next Sunday. Although he will wiggle, be noisy, and make a mess and I will whisper little things about him being 'so naughty!' My arms are missing him already.
While walking the halls together next Sunday, I hope we will get one more of our 'hall slow dances' together, I'll put a request in for Popcorn Popping, his favorite.
Then, whether I like it or not, I'll set him down one last time as my baby, and let him run off into the little boyhood that he is entering. And, Trenty, i'll still be right behind you.
